REALITY TV CIRCUS

In what should come as no surprise to anyone who follows reality TV romances kindled off of shows, Daisy De La Hoya has officially announced that she and the person she picked, London, are over.

Um, duh. Did anyone actually think that Daisy would keep the charades going with another season of Daisy of Love on the horizon? She has to get all ready for the next group of guys! C’mon! What’s a girl to do??

Anyhow, she said on her “official” MySpace page that she fell in love with London when the show started, but as things went down, she found the punk rocker to be more about getting pub for his band than actually caring about Daisy. So say we all…

Frankly, I’m bummed because I thought these two had a chance.

And, as you know, I was so fed up with Real Chance of Love 2 that I didn’t even bother reporting on that fiasco, because it seemed like every stripper in the galaxy made way to that casting call.

And, in the end, neither Real nor Chance kept their girl and now there’s rumors about Chance being gay. Heh. If that turns out to be true, dear God in Heaven…Anyway, look for Daisy Of Love 2 coming soon.

Welcome back, folks, to another exciting season of For The Love Of Ray-J. In this case, it’s now For The Love Of Ray-J 2, but already we can see several things developing.

First off, Ray-J is through with his playboy ways–although he still likes a girl who can do the splits–and he wants to settle down.

Typical second season behavior from the male lead, right? First season he wants to get on whatever he can, and the second season he becomes more refined, as if all of a sudden, he stopped being a horn dog.

Anyway, that attitude lasted about all of five minutes before girls started throwing down drinks and acting crazy!

In the end, though, Ray-J didn’t give a glass to Tipsy, for obvious reasons. He also didn’t give a glass to Fettucini, who came into the house bragging about being a celeb smasher. Probably a wise move there.

And finally, in the biggest hard-on killer of the evening, he didn’t give one to Diego, the girl who asked him who his fave R&B artists were, and hers didn’t include Ray-J. Wow.

Anyway, 16 girls remain. Any faves from week one?

Tool Academy 2 got off to a hilarious start this week, and frankly I needed it, because of the bullshit surrounding that prick, the now-dead-as-a-doorbell Ryan Jenkins.

Jenkins singlehandedly canceled one of my fave shows, I Love Money 3, because of his douchbaggery murderous ways. He also cancelled Megan Wants A Millionaire, supposedly because he went far in the show.

The show he really should have been on was the Tool Academy, because, had he been alive, it would have been hilarious, not to mention payback, for his ex-wife to make a fool of him on national television.

That’s what happened to Josh the Spray Tan Tool, who was enough of an idiot to think the cameras weren’t rolling 24-7, down his pants and inside his butt crack to utter some of the most hilarious things I’ve ever heard in reality TV history.

Those cameras are so sensitive you could hear a cockroach fart when constipated.

This dimwad actually thought he could get out of the mansion without having to go through the hazing ritual befalling every eliminated contestant. Uh, that’s why the limo has curbside service! What a moron!!

The only way off the property is by car, because it’s in the middle of BFE! Good luck finding a cab in the desert. God, what stupidity.

And there will be plenty more where that came from, I’m sure. Half these dudes are on steroids and the other half are brain-dead. At the end, one will come out victorious, until he cheats again, because that is the way of the tool.

So enjoy the show! I know I will.

Because of the death of “Megan Wants A Millionaire” star Ryan Jenkins, and because Jenkins was the prime suspect in the murder of his ex-wife Jasmine Fiore, who was found in pieces in a suitcase with her thumbs chopped off, VH1 has decided to cancel the remainder of the “Megan” show.

The only problem was, VH1 and 51 Minds were dumb enough to invite Ryan back for the shooting of I Love Money 3 as well, so that show has also been cancelled.

So basically, if you liked either show, you’re screwed, because the shows will never see the light of day.

“Megan” was guilty viewing, and Ryan, who famously told Megan she “didn’t have to sign a pre-nup” (Gee, wonder why?) in the season premiere of her show, is now dead and gone.

The part that really makes me mad is that I Love Money 3 is cancelled too! Who knows what madness we would have seen on that show. I would love to see the list of stars who were gonna be on that show, that’s for sure.

Anyway, Megan twittered about the whole Ryan ordeal. Sounds like she’s pretty broken up over it.

Despite all the nuttiness surrounding the now-canceled “Megan Wants A Millionaire” and that nutjob, the now-departed Ryan Jenkins, life went on in reality TV land and we had a show this week.

Real and Chance are still at it, trying to find the best stripper, uh, girl for their pea-pickin hearts. Aww…

In this week’s episode, the girls found themselves in the middle of a rootin-tootin Yeti hunt (Yeti played by the third Stallionaire, Micah) in which they had to hunt down the furry sucka and blow their horn.

The team featuring Blonde Baller and Junk did, winning a date with their man, Chance.

But it didn’t take long for the two to start fighting again, Junk accusing Blonde Baller of lying to Chance about having a boyfriend and so on.

You know, the usual. Anyway, Real’s girls were more subdued, as one might expect, because strippers can be chill, too…What, you thought they just took their clothes off for money? Whoa, are you wrong!

Apple, the least strippery of the bunch, tried to serve Real some breakfast in bed, which is usually a good thing. Except in this case, Real isn’t looking for love; he’s looking for boo-tay!

So no, Apple did not show up in a leather miniskirt with fake boobs bursting out of her top.

And Real sent her home at elimination. But the shocker came when Chance decided not to send either Blonde Baller or Junk home, despite the fact that both are bitches.

So 13 girls remain in the quest for Real and Chance’s love, I mean, manhood. Let the games continue!

So ends the drama surrounding the search for Ryan Jenkins, as the star from Megan Wants A Millionaire was found dead in a motel room in Hope, British Columbia Sunday night.

According to the AP, he apparently hanged himself by a belt hanging to the bar of a coat rack.

He was also seen entering the motel room with a woman. Hmm…things get more interesting by the moment.

It still doesn’t explain why he supposedly did what he did, and now we’ll never know. I do think he killed his ex-wife Jasmine Fiore, else he wouldn’t have escaped to Canada, where laws are less stringent.

At any rate, now the attention focuses on the girl. Is she a hooker? Possibly. All I know is one door closes and another opens. How bizarre and how truly sad.

More to come…

After a short investigation, the Orange County District Attorney has officially charged Ryan Jenkins, a contestant on the reality TV show “Megan Wants A Millionaire” with the murder of his ex-wife, 28-year-old model Jasmine Fiore.

I wonder what Megan thinks of that.

Jenkins is still at-large, believed to be in his native Canada, according to information received at today’s news conference.

Police earlier issued a warrant for Jenkins’ arrest. Both Canadian and U.S. authorities are searching for the reality TV star, who reportedly fled to Canada via Washington State after Fiore’s body was found in California stuffed in a suitcase inside a trash can.

Reports are circulating that Jenkins’ marriage to Fiore, a stripper he met while she worked in a Las Vegas club, was not doing well.

In fact, one of the clues leading to the murder charge came from a text message Jenkins sent to a gentleman Fiore was seeing, which simply read, “suck it.” Classy.

Fiore was planning to return to Vegas to meet with the gentleman the day before she was found dead.

This just in: Megan Wants A Millionaire airings have been posponed indefinitely because of the murder investigation surrounding Ryan Jenkins, known as Ryan.

Of course, it’s a little too late for VH1 and 51 Minds to act high and mighty about everything, they shouldn’t have let this guy on TV in the first place.

Here’s their statement regarding the matter and their decision:

Ryan Jenkins was a contestant on Megan Wants A Millionaire, an outside production, produced and owned by 51 Minds, that is licensed to VH1. The show completed production at the end of March. Given the unfortunate circumstances, VH1 has postponed any future airings. This is a tragic situation and our thoughts go out to the victim’s family.

That douchebag Ryan from “Megan Wants A Millionaire” may become the first reality TV contestant murderer soon, because some real shit is raining down on him at this very moment.

Ryan (real name: Ryan Jenkins) of Calgary, Alberta, Canada is being sought in connection with the disappearance and murder of his wife, 28-year-old Jasmine Fiore who was found dead in a trash can after being stuffed into a suitcase. Eep.

Jenkins was supposedly with his ex the night before. WTF? All the details are still sketchy, but what really has me wondering is Ryan reportedly has escaped to Canada via a boat he took into a Washington harbor, docked, and then may have walked across the border to his native land. Emigre!

No worries, though, the U.S. and Canadian authorities are looking for Ryan.

And obviously, Ryan did not win the competition, else he would have still been with Megan. Ha!

But the sad part here is that somebody lost their life. Jenkins, in case you don’t know, has a criminal history and one of domestic violence both in Canada and the United States. Oh, and did I mention he’s a sex addict, too?

Megan sure knows how to pick them, doesn’t she? How in the hell did she–or her production team–slip up on this guy? Don’t they run background checks?

Real and Chance kicked out Aloha, the Hawaiian girl who may have been the most certifiable person ever to appear on a reality TV show. She’s definitely up there for sure, with all the greats.

Saaphyri, eat your heart out, literally. Aloha chowed down on some grade-Q sushi (salmon from the grocer), and later told Real she had a stripper pimp who didn’t treat her well (left her in the middle of the desert to die, actually).

Then she told off Real several times because Real asked her if she was OK, and shared an intimate moment with Chance, telling him they belonged together because they both had mental illness. That pretty picture is waiting for you below.

Yikes! Hehe. Anyway, Real didn’t pick her at elimination and neither did Chance, so it’s aloha to Aloha until we see her on another reality TV show.

You will definitely see her on Charm School, but you might see her on I Love Money 3, because being cerifitable is a commodity in reality TV land. Look at The Entertainer, do you honestly think he’s sane?

Anyway, the Real Chance Of Love crazy train with strippers continues.