REALITY TV CIRCUS

The new reality TV show My Antonio starring soap opera legend Antonio Sabato Jr. debuted on VH1 last night and it didn’t disappoint.

Complete with girls in disbelief that Sabato was even in the mood for love with them, to his crazy Italian mother as his guide to his major plot twist at the end, it was TV gold.

The first highlight was that Sabato jumped off a boat and swam to his 13 damsels in distress, causing some to have a near heart attack (seriously!).

Then, he wasted no time in booting one off the show, a French gal named Natalia with mondo gigando feet (pic proof below).

He told her he’s big on hands and feet, so off she goes (with her feet) and we’re down to 12.

Whoa, that was quick. After his mom shows up looking like Krystle from Dynasty, she tells Antonio that Courtney in the silver swim suit and fake jubblies isn’t his type. So she too is gone. Wow…

This show is so far off the deep end it’s ridiculous. And it even got zanier with the elimination dinner table. That’s right; stuff your face and go home.

Either supper or a card awaits under their trays. Talk about working for your supper. But wait, it’s not over yet…

A boat named “Ciao Bella” (LOLZ) takes Anju away to safety, or to freedom. If you had to be around Antonio’s mom for five minutes, you’d probably feel the same way.

But Antonio is a frigging TV star, and this show is NOTHING like the other reality TV shows, because this guy actually has a history.

But they saved the most entertaining part for last. After Anju left, they were down to 10 but Antonio’s ex-wife, Tully Jensen-Sabato, showed up and entered the competition for his heart! WTF?

This show will definitely be on my to-do list from here on out. And it should be on yours, too.

Buy a Sabato movie here!

The pro wrestler Matt was sent home by Megan last night at the conclusion of episode 3 of the hit TV show Megan Wants A Millionaire, but the surprise of the night came when Megs also booted Joe, the closet gay who is obviously not into Megan (or girls) but is definitely here for the TV cameras.

I guar-an-frickin-tee you will see Joe on I Love Money 3, because he is psychotic enough to want to compete on that game show.

Joe also happens to be filthy stinking rich (worth $10 million) even though he inherited it all. Frankly, I doubt Megan cared that the money was kind of his in the first place (he owns about 20 percent of the family business); she just cared that it could have been hers at the end.

Instead she booted him out, just saying there wasn’t enough of a connection between the two. What, she couldn’t get over the fact the guy was gay? What in the hell is her problem? LOLZ

Anyway, there was also a competition, in which the guys had to come up with a business plan for Megz retarded dog Lili. Niiiiiice…Ryan won that and continued his Canadian butt kissing charade all the way through to a nice dinner, where he spoiled Megan and spent over $200 on the spread.

But the best part of the night happened when The Punisher and Francisco unveiled their business plan, which is below.

Actually, it was for a spa for Lili, but you get the idea, Two strippers = relaxation. Both survived for another week on the show.

Wiggly was kicked out of the house this week on Real Chance Of Love 2, and from the looks of the promos Real and Chance are now gonna select their own girls, instead of choosing them together. Whew!

We all know Chance’s choice of women leaves something to be desired, but Real is kind of picking sluts this season as well, so whatever stripper the boys end up with, I’m sure they’ll be happy until at least the reunion show.

Anyhoo, Wiggly was gone from the get-go; her poem that she read right off the paper was lame as hell. In fact, Real was pretending to sleep during the whole thing.

Classy? No, but even I had trouble stomaching her poem. It seemed a little too juvenile, but what did you expect, Shakespeare? These are strippers! And actors.

The only thing that’s real about this show is that there are eliminations every week that are real.

Episode 2 of Megan Wants A Millionaire picked up right where it left off, except Megan now has the guys working out of their new offices: her mansion.

What? Yes, she still wants the to conduct business by day so that she can get that money. So basically, what we have here is a future trophy wife who isn’t afraid to tell a man what she wants, so long as they have lots of money.

Megan then had the guys give her another gift during the challenge. Out of those 15, three were chosen for the final round: Al, who gave her that $8.000 check he promised; Shaun, who performed some sort of body sushi; and Big Mike, who bought her a dress.

All the guys who thought with their hearts, their appendages and other things not related to money going into Megan’s pocket were out of luck, apparently.

But a most interesting thing happened during the final challenge. When Shaun attempted to run his credit card for some gifts for Megan, it was declined and Al, being the nice guy he is, footed the bill.

Nice? Yeah, but this is a game, and Al later told Megan what happened with the credit card. She wasn’t happy.

At elimination, it was the end of the road for Garth the Plumber, who really wasn’t her type.

But for Joe, who liked Megan’s dog too much–and others we won’t mention–Megan inexplicably decided to keep him. If he isn’t gay I will quit blogging forever. What is he doing on the show in the first place? He had about 10 million reasons to be on the show and that’s why he’s staying put.

Shaun was sent home as well, probably for being a cheapskate in Megan’s eyes. In this show it’s all about the money. And you’ve got to have some to be on it.

If you ever expected anything less than full-throttle craziness and absolute insanity, then you don’t know Real Chance of Love, do you?

The second season of the hit reality TV show opened with more bimbos than you can shake a stick at!

In fact, I haven’t seen that many strippers on one show, ever! It’s almost like the people casting the show went to strip clubs to find the girls this time around. 

Real and Chance wasted no time getting rid of four girls. Show Me, a stripper who clocked Vegas upside her head for something Vegas (Tina) said and Vegas for instigating the fight with Show Me;  

As you can see from the picture above, Show Me is not only a stripper, she’s effing batshit crazy!

And then there was Ribbon, a crazy broad from Louisiana who was more of a freak/stalker than an actual fan of Real and Chance. Actually, Ribbon didn’t even get their names right, so what was she doing on the show, anyway?

And of course, she had to take the time to give the boys the finger salute. Nice. Nothing but class on the show this time around.

And finally, there was Freckles, who really should have been named Tattoos for all of the ink she had on her body. Anyone who knows Real and Chance knows they hate tattoos with a passion. Freckles was gone from the get-go.

So now the boys are down to 16. And this year, they’re not allowing the girls to pick which one they like best. I’m telling you, Real Chance of Love 2 is gonna be the best reality show ever.

The new VH1 smash got going last night, and by all accounts, the nerds are finally winning!

Well, they aren’t winning yet, but they are gaining ground on other reality shows that promise a lot, but don’t deliver.

This show has already delivered geeks, creeps, freaks, wannabes and even a dude who wants his green card. Then she brought in two trusty blonde bimbo friends, Brandi C. from Rock Of Love and Cecille from Beauty and the Geek.

After Megan got to know each of the millionaires, she kicked three to the curb, a creepy movie director named Donald (above photo), a kid named James who doesn’t have his millions yet (they’re stored in a frust fund when his grandpa dies) and Audi, who was simply cast for the wrong show.

So, if you have zero funds or little to work with, you may be headed out of the house before you can say, “your credit has been declined.”

If anyone actually thought that Risky would win Charm School 3 against Ashley, a stripper, and Marcia, a self-professed alcoholic, I would have found them to be an idiot.

But after hearing Risky give a passionate speech about how her childhood was not too great and was riddled by allegations of child molestation, you had to think that she had the best chance of anyone to win the $100,000.

In the end, Risky’s explanation was simply too much and far overmatched either Ashley’s or Marcia’s. I think all three girls were changing before us, but Risky’s speech just did more for Ricki Lake than the other two girls, not to take anything away from either Ashley or Marcia.

Out of all the Charm School shows to date, I found this one to be the most realistic and saw the most change coming out of these girls. All were admittedly skeptical of changing their lives, and all did so with the support of their families.

So all ended well, in my view, and the right person won, even though the three finalists all won in some way, shape or form. Marcia is fighting a deadly addiction, Ashley fought her own demons and is winning and so did Risky. And Ricki Lake made for the best and most competent host the show has ever seen.

The one-time douchebag London actually came off like a good guy in the last few episodes, and his charm won over Daisy De La Hoya in the show’s finale on Maui.

You had to have a feeling this is the way things would work out, anyway, because all it took for London to be accepted back in the house was to email the show emcee Riki and voila, he’s back in!

Some interesting things happened, however, once London, Flex, and 12 Pack got to Maui. Daisy wasted no time whittling the three down to two, giving each person one outing and a dinner to explain why they belonged in the house.

Then she had an elimination ceremony at the Maui airport, where she said goodbye to 12 Pack, because 12 wouldn’t open up to Daisy. She basically left the dude on the tarmac. Wow, you don’t wanna mess with that girl, huh?

Anyway, that left us with London and Flex, and you could tell from the kiss Daisy gave London that she didn’t care if the wannabe rockstar didn’t have a job at age 30; she just wanted to have his baby.

At the final elimination ceremony, Daisy wasted zero time telling Flex that London was the guy for her, and London won the show, and Daisy’s heart. Aw….

The thing about this show is that London genuinely seems to care about Daisy. He even said he wouldn’t do what all of the other reality shows do, and that’s break up before the reunion show.

Hopefully, he’s right, and we’ll see if this supposed union between London and Daisy lasts. After you got past the mohawk and the drunken escapades, it did seem that London was a nice guy despite being unemployed.

Definitely the least attractive reality TV show cast to hit the airwaves since Beauty and the Geek, VH1’s highly touted new reality show Megan Wants A Millionaire is ready to go, starting on Sunday, August 2.

Of course, anyone who knows Megan Hauserman from Rock Of Love knows she’s a total gold-digger, so what better way to have her showcase her skills than on a show like this?

Frankly, some of these dudes still look like geeks, even though they’re 40. But it’s hard to argue with somebody who reportedly makes millions. One thing’s for sure: Megan will know who’s really loaded and who’s just lying.

In this show, it’s up to Megan to weed out those who are pretending and don’t have what it takes to keep her happy.

Finally, is Megan looking for love? No. You’d have to be some kind of idiot to think that, after you have a look at the guys competing for her heart, and her aiming for their, uh, wallet.

The names of the contestants, uh, suckers, are mostly forgettable. Garth, Al, Francisco. There are a few, however, that stand out, like Punisher and my favorite, Sex Toy Dave.

Here they are below. One of these things is not like the other. Can you guess which one may be a stripper?

The Charm School 3 ladies have had a long road to get to where they are now, which is two weeks from the season finale.

And the Brazilian Marcia has managed to stay off the sauce. Yay! In the last episode, the four remaining ladies went to the Big Easy to help rebuild a city that was devastated by Hurricane Katrina several years ago.

Yes, folks, they are still rebuilding New Orleans after all these years, so do not believe for a second that it’s all good in the N.O.

Anyway, the girls were able to party it up on Bourbon Street the first night they arrived, only to be whisked away from their beds at the crack of dawn to help.

Ashley, as usual, was hung over but she managed to to her part and so she stayed to fight for the $100,000 prize another day.

Brittanya, meanwhile, hit the end of her journey, calling herself a G in her exit interview. Nothing says class like referring to oneself as a G, right? Heh.

So it’s Ashley, Marcia and Risky in the finale. I’m gonna have to go with Marcia, who actually seems like she’s come the farthest out of the three. Ashley’s just there for the money. Risky is my longshot pick.