REALITY TV CIRCUS

Mito Rodriguez won the second season of the hit reality TV show From G’s to Gents on MTV. Mito was the ex-con who spent two years in a penetentiary and he says he’ll use the $100,000 grand prize to expunge his criminal record so that he can be a plumber again.

But the other finalist, Blue, the homeless gangster from L.A. also was granted membership to the Gentlemen’s Club and Mr. Bentley arranged to give Blue free housing for one year.

Pretty touching stuff, if you ask me. And I really think the two most deserving people got memberships. Teddy has that checkered past as a pimp and his girl was obviously only into him for his money.

And the final three were Mito, Blue and Teddy, but I think Mr. Bentley made a huge mistake by choosing Teddy over Baron in the first place.

Mr. Bentley also brought back Creepa and Shotta to help the three G’s decide which of the final three would be denied membership. Shotta also got granted membership to the Gentleman’s Club for his work after the show wrapped.

After Teddy was eliminated from the final three, Mr. Bentley flew Blue–who had never been in a plane before–on his private jet to Palm Springs for a lunch.

After the lunch the two headed back to L.A. to prepare their speeches, both of which were good and touching. It was hard to choose between the two, who were good friends and who had been through so much.

So it was fitting to see that Mr. Bentley recognized the efforts of both individuals and gave them memberships. What do you think?

Baron went back to his baby mama on From G’s To Gents, narrowing down the hopefuls to three. He has definitely improved his crunked-out ness from when he started, but Mr. Bentley just felt he needed to be back home helping support his kids.

The fact is, Baron doesn’t really seem to like his baby mama and they fought all the time in this episode. Mr. Bentley had the remaining four contestants invite their family members (and baby mamas) to the crib so that Bentley could get to know each of them better.

What Bentley was really doing, though, was digging up dirt on each of the playas left at the ball so that he could decide who didn’t need to be there.

Well, he found out who, and Bentley has offered to help Baron quit drinking and place him in an outpatient rehab program. So maybe Baron will get the help he needs for himself and his family.

The last white boy was tossed out on From G’s To Gents last night, leaving us with only four playas: Baron, Teddy, Blue and Mito. How in the Hell Mito has made it this far, I will never know.

But I know one thing: Mr. Bentley is not putting up with anyone who is here for the wrong reasons, which is why Lank went home last night. Because his thing was to rile up the others and start secret alliances, his ass went home.

Mr. B let it be known this is not I Love Money and Lank is not The Entertainer. He’s here to really do something with his life, not try to win $250,000. I mean, the winner of the show gets a cash prize, but you can’t let anyone know you’re trying to get the money.

And the fact that he gave up a college hoops scholarship was just too, too much for even Mr. B.

Speaking of someone trying to get that money, Teddy announced last night that he’s a pimp. You know, he even sounds like that dude from the movie Hustle & Flow. Heh.

So in Teddy’s case, he’s going from a G to a Gentlepimp. Nice. So kids, if you’re out there, it’s OK to be a pimp, so long as you can make it look like you’re reforming on a reality TV show, just like Teddy.

Teddy really should have been the one who went home, but apparently there are more heinous things in the world than taking money from dumb girls, like starting secret alliances and talking behind people’s backs. That’s something I didn’t know.

In the challenge, Chef Nikki Shaw took time out from not making it on The Next Food Network Star to host a networking dinner party for hip-hop royalty. Right, right. In the photo she’s holding up a bottle of wine, which the G’s did not drink, because they’re (Duh!) trying to reform.

There sure is a lot of backstabbing going on at the From G’s To Gents crib, even though the whole aim of the show is for Mr. Bentley to reform these so-called hoodlums and make them productive members of society.

Tonight All In (top photo) got eliminated, leaving us Lank, Blue, Teddy, and Mito. In my opinion the only people with a shot at winning are Lank and Mito, since they’re the only two who don’t play mind games with the other G’s on a regular basis.

It was sad to watch All In try to get up the wall (bottom photo) but he gave it his all, not quitting. Teddy got up the wall first, but then dudes started hating on him. There was some bad blood between the five at their camping outing, where they all had to make tents.

Watching G’s in the woods was funny. Instead of sending the G’s to prison or jail, maybe we should have them spend a night in the wilderness, afraid of being eaten by coyotes.

Anyway, Blue is starting to show his true self and is now plotting to have the others eliminated. Tonight he gave Teddy a black ball for no good reason and I don’t really understand why All In got three black balls. Blue got two, so some of them are on to him.

My pick for elimination next week is Blue, who unfortunately might be headed back to the homeless shelter. It’s sad, but it’s true.

Crazy Fahim was finally sent packing last night after he said the C-word around E-40, who is himself a rapper and has never heard such a word being uttered out of anyone’s mouth. Heh.

Anyway, after Fahim went out and made an ass of himself at the rapper’s photo shoot, refusing to participate at some points he finally got chewed out by Fonzworth Bentley.

You had to know the writing was on the wall when that happened. Anytime Mr. Bentley has to chew someone, it usually doesn’t turn out well. Case in point: Macho. And Riff Raff. Ah, Riff Raff. That Fruit Stripe looking, Skittles wearing mofo.

Even with the ass chewing, Fahim was still chosen to go with E-40 because, well, he’s the boss. Even so, Fahim still ended up in the bottom three with Mito and Lank, the lone white guy remaining.

In the end, Mr. Bentley didn’t think Fahim had done enough to stay in the house. I will miss his husky voice and his fashion sense.

It wasn’t a good night to be a G on From G’s To Gents, that’s for sure. In all, four people were called down to the carpet, and in the end, three went home.

A.D., A-Felon and JoJo all were told their time at the Gentleman’s Club was up, the first two (below photo) for supposedly using hate toward Macho (above photo), the dude with a diamond tattooed on his cheek.

JoJo just showed up at this week’s challenge drunk, which made Fonzworth Bentley look bad and so he was a goner. BTW why is Baron (aka Dirty) still around? He made himself look like a real ass during the first episode, but Bentley let him sleep it off. Isn’t that a tad hypocritical?

Anyway, the person who should really be here, but isn’t, the dude with the Froot Loops braided in his hair and wearing multi-colored pants (Riff Raff) wouldn’t have ever done that. He would have said some stupid shit that would have made everyone laugh, but he wouldn’t have used any hateful words.

Not only that, Riff Raff would have rapped about things he shouldn’t rap about, which would have been funny. Bring back Riff Raff!

Anyway, with three people gone they can afford to bring back Riff Raff. Obviously he needs Bentley’s help. I mean, look at the guy, for God sakes!

The Ikki Twins made their choice in the finale and it was Trevor, the boat captain from Philly. LOL So it came down to Trevor choosing both, or just one…and he chose Vikki in a shocker!

I did not see this coming, but Trevor claims it’s because Vikki was more like him and they had a better chemistry. Whatever; we’ve heard that one before. I give this relationship a week. If that long. The twins’ parents hated both Trevor and Rebekah, if that’s any consolation.

Anyway, Rikki was the first to dump Rebekah and then she had to walk up the aisle toward Vikki, who also dumped her. So to be dumped twice on national TV must have been heart-breaking, not to mention embarassing for the bartender from Tacoma.

So what’s up now that Rikki didn’t find anyone? Well, I’m sure the line will be out the door for season 2. And don’t count out Vikki joining in on the fun again, either. The chances she and Trevor will make it past Friday are about as good as the Seahawks going to the Super Bowl next year.

What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, unless your name is Scott, you wore a Hebrews tanktop even though you’re not that Jewish and you were on the hit reality TV show A Double Shot At Love.

In which case, you can pack your bags and head back on a plane to New Jersey because you just got dumped on national TV! Scott can take back all the memories, including the one of his mom doing body shots off the Ikki Twins.

That’s a memory that, unfortunately, I will take with me the rest of my life. Seeing Scott go was a minor victory after watching that a few weeks ago. Yuck!

Anyway, now that Scott is gone there are only two remaining: Trevor, the surfer boy (LOL) from Pennsylvania, where I know for a fact you can catch killer waves on the Philly shore. Hehe. And there is Rebekah, who everybody knows only likes Vikki and not Rikki and so there really isn’t any point in even predicting a winner, since both girls have to agree on one.

Unless a tidal wave comes along and swoops Trevor’s bony ass into the Philly seas, Trevor will win A Double Shot At Love. I am actually confident enough to predict that at this point in time. I did think Scott had a chance initially, but it really started looking like he was just there to win the competition and the money. The thing that sealed Scott’s fate is when Trevor told Rikki he loved her. Any thoughts, questions? Rebekah, pack your bags ’cause you’re going home.

We’re down to three people vying for the love of the Ikki Twins, Rikki and Vikki, now that Rosemarie, the fast-talking Italian girl from Staten Island has been sent home. I have to admit I was a little surprised by the twins’ move but Rosie’s love affair with her Dachshund, Donkey, clinched the deal for them.

Hell, Rosie gave more love to Donkey than she ever did the twins (and definitely Vikki). Even though the go-go dancer held her “coming-out” party on national TV at her Staten Island home with her mother and family members in attendance, it still wasn’t enough for the Ikkis.

I honestly thought going into this round that the girl from Tacoma, the bartender with the little boy was toast. But the little boy won over Vikki (Rikki not so much) and that interaction propelled her to a first-place finish in the round and safety from elimination.

Second on the list was the surfer boy Trevor from Pennsylvania, which is weird because I didn’t know they even surfed there. LOL But Trev’s ridden the waves of the twins’ butt cheeks, through their ample cleavage and into their hearts, which at one point I felt were wooden.

Trevor’s parents looked just like him, two ex-surfers who found religion but at one time may have liked to hit a bong. Dude, the whole thing was gnarly, man, but it looked to me like the parents didn’t really dig the girls, you know. Anyway, they’re hot for the surfer dude and picked him second!

Scott the loudmouth from Jersey was picked third, and unbeknownst to me he’s Jewish. That came as a complete shock to me, but on this show many things have surprised me. The twins met up with him at his parents’ Jersey pad and they brought some Jewish wine. Mazeltov!

The only problem is, Scott’s parents aren’t exactly with the whole religion program; they kinda do it part-time. Scott even said this was the first time he could remember them being so Jewish. LOL It kinda looked to me like Scott’s parents wouldn’t mind taking turns with the twins; that’s how weird that encounter was. At one point they were doing body shots off the girls. If my parents did that, I would die!

So yeah, it was a weird night and only three remain. The Ikki Twins are getting close to making their decision and now they‘re all headed to Vegas.

You voted and here are the results from the 1st Annual Reality TV Circus Awards.  

And the winners are…

Reality TV Circus Villain…Khalood Bojanowski of “Momma’s Boys.” Could there be any doubt? Come on, already! A racist…in this day and age…thinks it’s okay to say those kinds of things! Appalling!! I stopped watching the show because of her.

Reality TV Circus Comeback Story For The Ages…Brandi M. from “Rock Of Love Charm School.” When you think about how far down the gutter this girl went, into hardcore porn, and then to come back and become a “lady” (sort of) then you really have taken the trip from hell to heaven full-circle.

Reality TV Circus Whore…Pumkin from “Flavor Of Love Charm School.” To be kicked out of a so-called “Charm School,” where at least half of the women were, uh, promiscuous, you would have to be pretty slutty to win this title over say, Angelique, who does that kind of thing for a living.

Reality TV Circus Idiot …Bubbles from “Real Chance Of Love.” Okay, first of all, Bubbles is the Forrest Gump of reality TV. And even though Brian Kehoe is a complete moron, even he would have trouble staying up with Bubbles. Actually, if they bedded one another he would probably choke her in no time flat.

Reality TV Circus Hottie…Milf from “Real Chance Of Love.” I know what my stats say, people, and the NUMBER ONE MOST SEARCHED ITEM IS…(Da-da!) Milf from “Real Chance of Love.” Yes, I know there are people out there who are sick, but this is ridiculous. But you can’t argue with statistics.

Reality TV Circus Beefcake…Punk from “I Love New York 2.” This was a close race, and 12 Pack damned near won it, but in the end Punk’s brains and brawn were too much for the voters. That, and flipping the table over on Chance. That was just funny. The fact he’s been dating Jennifer Hudson probably didn’t hurt his cause, either.

Reality TV Circus Genius…The Entertainer from “I Love Money.” Who else would you vote for? The dude lives in his parent’s house, can’t play a guitar, yet conned millions of people to vote for him and believe he’s a star? What, are you kiddin’ me? Come on! (In thick NY accent)

Reality TV Circus Humanitarian…Real from “I Love Money & Real Chance Of Love.” He’s a nice guy, he’s funny and charming and he nearly won “I Love Money” over some pretty stiff competition. But in the end, he followed his heart, forgot about the money and went with his heart, which ultimately cost him a shot at the money.

Reality TV Circus Top Salesperson…Heather from various VH1 shows. The fact most people know her by her first name is a testament to her popularity. I’ve given it some thought and think it’s because she looks like every other person in your neighborhood. She may be annoying, but she’s in the back of your mind right now.

Reality TV Circus Best Actor goes to…Lacey from various VH1 shows. She is conniving, a Gemini, a redhead to boot and she is as mean as advertised. But she is also intelligent, a caring person and the side you see on TV is the side she chooses to show you. As you saw on Charm School she can show her other side…if she wants to.

Well, that’s all for the 2008 Reality TV Circus Awards. See you next year and thanks for voting!