REALITY TV CIRCUS

Tool Academy 2 got off to a hilarious start this week, and frankly I needed it, because of the bullshit surrounding that prick, the now-dead-as-a-doorbell Ryan Jenkins.

Jenkins singlehandedly canceled one of my fave shows, I Love Money 3, because of his douchbaggery murderous ways. He also cancelled Megan Wants A Millionaire, supposedly because he went far in the show.

The show he really should have been on was the Tool Academy, because, had he been alive, it would have been hilarious, not to mention payback, for his ex-wife to make a fool of him on national television.

That’s what happened to Josh the Spray Tan Tool, who was enough of an idiot to think the cameras weren’t rolling 24-7, down his pants and inside his butt crack to utter some of the most hilarious things I’ve ever heard in reality TV history.

Those cameras are so sensitive you could hear a cockroach fart when constipated.

This dimwad actually thought he could get out of the mansion without having to go through the hazing ritual befalling every eliminated contestant. Uh, that’s why the limo has curbside service! What a moron!!

The only way off the property is by car, because it’s in the middle of BFE! Good luck finding a cab in the desert. God, what stupidity.

And there will be plenty more where that came from, I’m sure. Half these dudes are on steroids and the other half are brain-dead. At the end, one will come out victorious, until he cheats again, because that is the way of the tool.

So enjoy the show! I know I will.