REALITY TV CIRCUS

Because of the death of “Megan Wants A Millionaire” star Ryan Jenkins, and because Jenkins was the prime suspect in the murder of his ex-wife Jasmine Fiore, who was found in pieces in a suitcase with her thumbs chopped off, VH1 has decided to cancel the remainder of the “Megan” show.

The only problem was, VH1 and 51 Minds were dumb enough to invite Ryan back for the shooting of I Love Money 3 as well, so that show has also been cancelled.

So basically, if you liked either show, you’re screwed, because the shows will never see the light of day.

“Megan” was guilty viewing, and Ryan, who famously told Megan she “didn’t have to sign a pre-nup” (Gee, wonder why?) in the season premiere of her show, is now dead and gone.

The part that really makes me mad is that I Love Money 3 is cancelled too! Who knows what madness we would have seen on that show. I would love to see the list of stars who were gonna be on that show, that’s for sure.

Anyway, Megan twittered about the whole Ryan ordeal. Sounds like she’s pretty broken up over it.

Despite all the nuttiness surrounding the now-canceled “Megan Wants A Millionaire” and that nutjob, the now-departed Ryan Jenkins, life went on in reality TV land and we had a show this week.

Real and Chance are still at it, trying to find the best stripper, uh, girl for their pea-pickin hearts. Aww…

In this week’s episode, the girls found themselves in the middle of a rootin-tootin Yeti hunt (Yeti played by the third Stallionaire, Micah) in which they had to hunt down the furry sucka and blow their horn.

The team featuring Blonde Baller and Junk did, winning a date with their man, Chance.

But it didn’t take long for the two to start fighting again, Junk accusing Blonde Baller of lying to Chance about having a boyfriend and so on.

You know, the usual. Anyway, Real’s girls were more subdued, as one might expect, because strippers can be chill, too…What, you thought they just took their clothes off for money? Whoa, are you wrong!

Apple, the least strippery of the bunch, tried to serve Real some breakfast in bed, which is usually a good thing. Except in this case, Real isn’t looking for love; he’s looking for boo-tay!

So no, Apple did not show up in a leather miniskirt with fake boobs bursting out of her top.

And Real sent her home at elimination. But the shocker came when Chance decided not to send either Blonde Baller or Junk home, despite the fact that both are bitches.

So 13 girls remain in the quest for Real and Chance’s love, I mean, manhood. Let the games continue!

So ends the drama surrounding the search for Ryan Jenkins, as the star from Megan Wants A Millionaire was found dead in a motel room in Hope, British Columbia Sunday night.

According to the AP, he apparently hanged himself by a belt hanging to the bar of a coat rack.

He was also seen entering the motel room with a woman. Hmm…things get more interesting by the moment.

It still doesn’t explain why he supposedly did what he did, and now we’ll never know. I do think he killed his ex-wife Jasmine Fiore, else he wouldn’t have escaped to Canada, where laws are less stringent.

At any rate, now the attention focuses on the girl. Is she a hooker? Possibly. All I know is one door closes and another opens. How bizarre and how truly sad.

More to come…

After a short investigation, the Orange County District Attorney has officially charged Ryan Jenkins, a contestant on the reality TV show “Megan Wants A Millionaire” with the murder of his ex-wife, 28-year-old model Jasmine Fiore.

I wonder what Megan thinks of that.

Jenkins is still at-large, believed to be in his native Canada, according to information received at today’s news conference.

Police earlier issued a warrant for Jenkins’ arrest. Both Canadian and U.S. authorities are searching for the reality TV star, who reportedly fled to Canada via Washington State after Fiore’s body was found in California stuffed in a suitcase inside a trash can.

Reports are circulating that Jenkins’ marriage to Fiore, a stripper he met while she worked in a Las Vegas club, was not doing well.

In fact, one of the clues leading to the murder charge came from a text message Jenkins sent to a gentleman Fiore was seeing, which simply read, “suck it.” Classy.

Fiore was planning to return to Vegas to meet with the gentleman the day before she was found dead.

This just in: Megan Wants A Millionaire airings have been posponed indefinitely because of the murder investigation surrounding Ryan Jenkins, known as Ryan.

Of course, it’s a little too late for VH1 and 51 Minds to act high and mighty about everything, they shouldn’t have let this guy on TV in the first place.

Here’s their statement regarding the matter and their decision:

Ryan Jenkins was a contestant on Megan Wants A Millionaire, an outside production, produced and owned by 51 Minds, that is licensed to VH1. The show completed production at the end of March. Given the unfortunate circumstances, VH1 has postponed any future airings. This is a tragic situation and our thoughts go out to the victim’s family.

That douchebag Ryan from “Megan Wants A Millionaire” may become the first reality TV contestant murderer soon, because some real shit is raining down on him at this very moment.

Ryan (real name: Ryan Jenkins) of Calgary, Alberta, Canada is being sought in connection with the disappearance and murder of his wife, 28-year-old Jasmine Fiore who was found dead in a trash can after being stuffed into a suitcase. Eep.

Jenkins was supposedly with his ex the night before. WTF? All the details are still sketchy, but what really has me wondering is Ryan reportedly has escaped to Canada via a boat he took into a Washington harbor, docked, and then may have walked across the border to his native land. Emigre!

No worries, though, the U.S. and Canadian authorities are looking for Ryan.

And obviously, Ryan did not win the competition, else he would have still been with Megan. Ha!

But the sad part here is that somebody lost their life. Jenkins, in case you don’t know, has a criminal history and one of domestic violence both in Canada and the United States. Oh, and did I mention he’s a sex addict, too?

Megan sure knows how to pick them, doesn’t she? How in the hell did she–or her production team–slip up on this guy? Don’t they run background checks?

Real and Chance kicked out Aloha, the Hawaiian girl who may have been the most certifiable person ever to appear on a reality TV show. She’s definitely up there for sure, with all the greats.

Saaphyri, eat your heart out, literally. Aloha chowed down on some grade-Q sushi (salmon from the grocer), and later told Real she had a stripper pimp who didn’t treat her well (left her in the middle of the desert to die, actually).

Then she told off Real several times because Real asked her if she was OK, and shared an intimate moment with Chance, telling him they belonged together because they both had mental illness. That pretty picture is waiting for you below.

Yikes! Hehe. Anyway, Real didn’t pick her at elimination and neither did Chance, so it’s aloha to Aloha until we see her on another reality TV show.

You will definitely see her on Charm School, but you might see her on I Love Money 3, because being cerifitable is a commodity in reality TV land. Look at The Entertainer, do you honestly think he’s sane?

Anyway, the Real Chance Of Love crazy train with strippers continues.

The new reality TV show My Antonio starring soap opera legend Antonio Sabato Jr. debuted on VH1 last night and it didn’t disappoint.

Complete with girls in disbelief that Sabato was even in the mood for love with them, to his crazy Italian mother as his guide to his major plot twist at the end, it was TV gold.

The first highlight was that Sabato jumped off a boat and swam to his 13 damsels in distress, causing some to have a near heart attack (seriously!).

Then, he wasted no time in booting one off the show, a French gal named Natalia with mondo gigando feet (pic proof below).

He told her he’s big on hands and feet, so off she goes (with her feet) and we’re down to 12.

Whoa, that was quick. After his mom shows up looking like Krystle from Dynasty, she tells Antonio that Courtney in the silver swim suit and fake jubblies isn’t his type. So she too is gone. Wow…

This show is so far off the deep end it’s ridiculous. And it even got zanier with the elimination dinner table. That’s right; stuff your face and go home.

Either supper or a card awaits under their trays. Talk about working for your supper. But wait, it’s not over yet…

A boat named “Ciao Bella” (LOLZ) takes Anju away to safety, or to freedom. If you had to be around Antonio’s mom for five minutes, you’d probably feel the same way.

But Antonio is a frigging TV star, and this show is NOTHING like the other reality TV shows, because this guy actually has a history.

But they saved the most entertaining part for last. After Anju left, they were down to 10 but Antonio’s ex-wife, Tully Jensen-Sabato, showed up and entered the competition for his heart! WTF?

This show will definitely be on my to-do list from here on out. And it should be on yours, too.

Buy a Sabato movie here!

The pro wrestler Matt was sent home by Megan last night at the conclusion of episode 3 of the hit TV show Megan Wants A Millionaire, but the surprise of the night came when Megs also booted Joe, the closet gay who is obviously not into Megan (or girls) but is definitely here for the TV cameras.

I guar-an-frickin-tee you will see Joe on I Love Money 3, because he is psychotic enough to want to compete on that game show.

Joe also happens to be filthy stinking rich (worth $10 million) even though he inherited it all. Frankly, I doubt Megan cared that the money was kind of his in the first place (he owns about 20 percent of the family business); she just cared that it could have been hers at the end.

Instead she booted him out, just saying there wasn’t enough of a connection between the two. What, she couldn’t get over the fact the guy was gay? What in the hell is her problem? LOLZ

Anyway, there was also a competition, in which the guys had to come up with a business plan for Megz retarded dog Lili. Niiiiiice…Ryan won that and continued his Canadian butt kissing charade all the way through to a nice dinner, where he spoiled Megan and spent over $200 on the spread.

But the best part of the night happened when The Punisher and Francisco unveiled their business plan, which is below.

Actually, it was for a spa for Lili, but you get the idea, Two strippers = relaxation. Both survived for another week on the show.

Wiggly was kicked out of the house this week on Real Chance Of Love 2, and from the looks of the promos Real and Chance are now gonna select their own girls, instead of choosing them together. Whew!

We all know Chance’s choice of women leaves something to be desired, but Real is kind of picking sluts this season as well, so whatever stripper the boys end up with, I’m sure they’ll be happy until at least the reunion show.

Anyhoo, Wiggly was gone from the get-go; her poem that she read right off the paper was lame as hell. In fact, Real was pretending to sleep during the whole thing.

Classy? No, but even I had trouble stomaching her poem. It seemed a little too juvenile, but what did you expect, Shakespeare? These are strippers! And actors.

The only thing that’s real about this show is that there are eliminations every week that are real.