REALITY TV CIRCUS

Megan, Samantha and Constandina (below photo) were all eliminated on Rock Of Love Bus, but that hardly matters when most people are watching the show because of the ex-porn star Brittaney (middle photo), who is five eggs short of a dozen on a good day.

She also seems to have five dozen eggs stuffed in her bra, if only those eggs were silicone! LOL Anyway, Brittaney cried all over the place again last week, proving to me that she is certifiable and that she needs something more than Bret and a lot less to drink!

You could say that about all the girls on the “Bret Michaels Love Train,” but you can really say that about Brittaney, who spit out a whopping five pages (five pages!) of wedding vows during the last episode. The gist of the episode was that Bret wanted to see who could really show some heart.

So he had each of the girls jot down some wedding vows and put on some wedding dresses. Most said just a few words, but Brittaney’s was not only over the top, but out of her mind insane! For Bret, a rock star, to think she’s insane just tells you how truly crazy this lady is!

And of course, Marcia the Brazilian alcoholic who says she just drinks for fun (riiight) offered some drama as well. But Ashley (above photo) is quickly getting up there with Brittaney and Marcia, based on the picture above. Yes, folks, that is her hoo-hah showing and yes those are fake boobs.

But what in the hell did you expect? This is Bret Michaels and this is a rock tour on a bus rolling through cities. Next stop: it doesn’t matter because you are just gonna see more tits and ass, although it was funny to hear Constandina got booted out because she made a celibacy vow and told Bret about it.

Think he’s really looking for love? Uh, no. Like Constandina said so eloquently, she thought this was “Rock Of Love, not Rock Of F***.” LOL couldn’t have said it better myself.