REALITY TV CIRCUS

The biggest reality TV game show begins again this Monday and it looks like it’s gonna be full of drama!

After watching the first five minutes of the first episode here I have a better idea — and so will you — of what to expect from the 19 Celebreality veterans (and a handful of I Love Money vets, too) when they compete to win $250,000.

First off, she looks like Paris Hilton in this photo, but it’s actually Milf from Real Chance Of Love. Milf (above photo) has become a household name in the reality TV business and even though her parenting skills came into question, the former Playboy model is no dummy when it comes to getting money.

She will use her looks and body to get what she needs from the testosterone-challenged males in the house and so look for her to go deep into the competition. Milf is my darkhorse choice to win it all!

Her biggest competition will be Buckwild (middle photo) from Flavor Of Love. The comedian/rapper is no stranger to playing two different characters in the same show; she acted like she was from the hood at times and then could change it up on a dime and act normal.

Buckwild has way too many talents to go unnoticed; if the others were smart they will act quick to get her out. The longer she is in the competition, the worse the news is for the others! I predict a top-four finish from her. Keep an eye out for Cali and Anqelique.

The unpopular but realistic choice among the men is Buddha (bottom photo) from I Love New York 2. The problem with Buddha is his temper and the fact Tailor Made is also in the house may not help matters.

But he is athletic enough to win the physical challenges and smart enough to survive the mental ones. The one person standing in his way of the grand prize is The Entertainer, who is my dark horse pick to win it all for the boys. Also keep an eye out for Heat and Bonez.

Well, Chance got to tell the world why he picked nobody during his time on Real Chance Of Love and it looks like the girls bought his story. The two I’m referring to are Cali and Bay Bay Bay (above with Chance in photo).

What in the hell are they thinking? Of course he doesn’ t want a serious relationship. The only link he wants is to all the Ed Hardy/Christian Audigier clothing he can wear. Maybe he’s looking for the wrong gender. LOL

Anyway, Chance came off like a buffoon on the reunion show, acting like he’s some kind of pimp. Heh. If THAT dude is a pimp then I’m Don Magic Juan. Wow. How pathetic!

And to top it all off, he then set his sights on making fun of Bubbles (below photo), the cute but slightly retarded girl who did bizarre but funny things on the show. I about laughed myself into a coma when she told Chance he had “issues.” Um, duh!

Anyway, the highlight of the night came when Chance told the world he picked the wrong girls and that he should have given So Hood more of an opportunity.

This show was obviously staged and so it’s hard to tell what the girls were really feeling. After hearing that Real’s relationship with Corn Fed was over months ago, I kind of feel like we were all bamboozled. But it’s obvious Real and Chance are returning for a second season; after all they are funny and America loves them, in spite of the fact that the whole thing was fake.

Wow, that was fast. Corn Fed announced on her MySpace page that the relationship between her and Real is over. Kaput. Finit. That’s a wrap.

Man, I feel like a genius. I had a feeling that as soon as Real picked Corn Fed that I doubted it would last…and what happened? Not even a week after the reunion aired did the two break up.

But I guess it’s been in the cards for awhile; she said they started having trouble last September so you have to think they were just playing nice for TV. She can say what she will about not “acting for the cameras,” but if she went to the reunion knowing it was over, then why did she act like they were still together? It takes two to tango, you know.

And from what she said on her MySpace, it was mutual. Ouch. So now that’s they’re officially broken up, what about the rumors she’s dating Nick Brown from MTV’s The Real World Hollywood? Well, she says they’re “just friends.” We’ll see.

Meanwhile, with Real supposedly flying out other girls who were on the show (wonder if that means Rabbit?), what’s next for Real? I’ll tell you what! A  second season of Real Chance Of Love, that’s what. Just like I predicted in the first place. Wow.

What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, unless your name is Scott, you wore a Hebrews tanktop even though you’re not that Jewish and you were on the hit reality TV show A Double Shot At Love.

In which case, you can pack your bags and head back on a plane to New Jersey because you just got dumped on national TV! Scott can take back all the memories, including the one of his mom doing body shots off the Ikki Twins.

That’s a memory that, unfortunately, I will take with me the rest of my life. Seeing Scott go was a minor victory after watching that a few weeks ago. Yuck!

Anyway, now that Scott is gone there are only two remaining: Trevor, the surfer boy (LOL) from Pennsylvania, where I know for a fact you can catch killer waves on the Philly shore. Hehe. And there is Rebekah, who everybody knows only likes Vikki and not Rikki and so there really isn’t any point in even predicting a winner, since both girls have to agree on one.

Unless a tidal wave comes along and swoops Trevor’s bony ass into the Philly seas, Trevor will win A Double Shot At Love. I am actually confident enough to predict that at this point in time. I did think Scott had a chance initially, but it really started looking like he was just there to win the competition and the money. The thing that sealed Scott’s fate is when Trevor told Rikki he loved her. Any thoughts, questions? Rebekah, pack your bags ’cause you’re going home.

Well, it was like we all secretly hoped. Real did decide (because he’s a nice guy) that he wanted to continue his relationship with Corn Fed, who won his heart on Real Chance Of Love. The only catch? They’re taking things slow.

Awww…all together now…Ptttth! It’s not gonna work. Hehe didn’t I hear that from Jenna on Tool Academy a few episodes back? Yeah, some kind of scam is brewing here, mainly because Chance has nobody. (More on Chance tomorrow!)

Anyway, back to Real and Corn Fed. It was obvious to me, that as soon as she walked on stage with those fakeass hair extensions she wasn’t going anywhere with Real.

The fact she’s living with Cali kinda put the nail in the coffin of this relationship, I’m afraid. Corn Fed can say what she wants about being together and all that, which is good for TV, good for ratings.

But the bottom line is, it’s over between the two. At least I think it is. You never know with Real; that dude is unpredictable. When he busted out that engagement ring on Hoopz during I Love Money I about crapped myself.

Either that, or we’ll be sitting back here talking about their marriage in a year. But I think we’ll be talking about Real Chance of Love, season two. What do you think?

It was too much partying and too much tequila (and Doritos) for Marcia, as Bret Michaels eliminated her this evening on Rock Of Love Bus.

Ahh…we had it all with Marcia (top photo with Bret), that Brazilian bombshell who famously said in the first episode that wasting alcohol is “not cool.” And at that point, I knew she was something and somebody who was special.

But it was obvious from the last few episodes that her time was ending soon, since she was always drunk and Bret warned her early on that even on the tour bus, there is a time and place for drinking — and waking up to drink was not gonna work out for him.

Even getting a special “green pick” before the “roadie challenge,” entitling her to VIP treatment didn’t buy time for Marcia in this episode, who even referred to Bret as “Chad” in her final interview. Hehe. And then she said she didn’t really get to know Bret.

Um, that’s because she was drunk! Duh!! So let that be a lesson to all of you out there. If you like somebody, try to stay sober for at least 15 minutes a day.

I’m kind of convinced Bret let the wrong girl go this night, though, since Beverly (picture proof above) was caught making out with Bret’s drummer. But in Bret’s band, apparently that kind of behavior is alright, so whatever, eh?

As a side note, Maria is now in the hospital and so it’s hard to tell how that one will go since she has a medical condition. They didn’t specify what, but it can’t be good. So Maria’s future on the bus is also up in the air. I do think Bret likes her, though, because he visited her in the hospital. More craziness ahead, I’m sure.

Soo…to recap…Marcia goes home, yet Beverly makes out with Bret’s drummer and still stays. Crazy.

Bret Michaels is certainly not wasting any time deciding who he wants to keep this year. LOL He’s getting rid of girls faster than he ever has before and that should scare everyone in the house!

However, one girl who seems tough enough to be able to handle all of the mind games going on in the buses is Ashley (above photo), who, tattooed, fake boobed and all has basically been a beast from the word go. She basically ran Crazy Brittaney out of the buses, calling her insane, among other things.

Don’t expect that to change from her here in the next few episodes, as she will have considerable competition from Taya, the Penthouse Pet and Farrah, before this thing is a wrap.

Tonight the girls will have to act as roadies and since Ashley seems pretty tough she should have little problems handling some equipment. But the shocker of the night will come later, during the concert the girls are preparing for with this “roadie challenge.”

Tell me what you think when it’s all said and done tonight! I think you’ll be in for a surprise!!

Corn Fed, the only winner of Real Chance Of Love and a mild-mannered hairdresser from Fargo, North Dakota is gearing up to tell Real how she really feels about them and their relationship. Neither Real nor Corn Fed are allowed to see each other before the reunion special as part of their contract and so it’s hard to say which way they will go.

From the looks of her exit interview, though, I’m gonna bank on Real doing this all over again with other girls next year. In other words, don’t look for a tearful reunion between the two because I think Corn Fed and Real called it good with the show!

Some highlights from her exit interview:

- She says she’s been in contact with Real after the show, but the sparks have “faded. Kind of. We got busy.”

- She admits she may have been caught up in the whole moment thing and she doesn’t know if it’s love.

- She doesn’t live far from Real, but she doesn’t know where he lives. Hmmmm…

- She wants to be the next “female Ryan Seacrest.” LOL

- She went to school for musical theater and loves to sing.

- She is “pissed” about being stereotyped because she had never been with a black man.

- She likes Bay Bay Bay fine and considers her a friend but she doesn’t like Milf.

- She totally understood where Chance was coming from in not picking either girl, even though she now rooms with Cali in California.

- And finally, she says she is “excited and nervous” as the reunion nears.

One thing is for sure: you can count on tons of drama (and possibly a proposal) when the Real Chance Of Love reunion special airs this weekend!

Well, Tanisha paid a visit to The Bad Girls Club and miraculously, nobody got popped, went to jail or heard Tanisha utter those famous words. You know, those famous words that Whitney and Tiffany always use.That’s Boston and Chicago! God, people! LOL Anyway, with Tanisha in the house and Kayla gone, things were gonna get crany, right? Where she’d start saying “Brooklyn” every five seconds, clanging pots and pans together and freaking out. It was gonna be something to remember.Not exactly, since the whole thing was a prank the Two Ambers pulled on the girls in the house. They went to a radio station (above photo) where Tanisha (bottom photo) was doing a show and asked her if she’d join in on the fun. She obliged and the rest was TV history.

Tanisha told the girls in the house what was expected after she arrived. But then, instead of dragging the whole thing out, Tanisha chickened out and told them was just playing! Crap!! I was hoping for some major drama. Now, we just get the usual stuff.

But it was funny. It should have lasted longer than it did, though, for maximum impact. After that episode the girls did their usual thing, picking up drunk frat boys and throwing up in and around the limo. Good times.

Now that Brittaney’s gone from Rock Of Love Bus until the reunion show (‘cuz she got booted! Duh!!) she is now on a crusade to correct her public image of being a complete wacko. But you know what? Her story is quite believeable. She might have a case here.

For starters, she says the producers edited a few things to make her look completely incompetent. OK fine, but how do you explain stealing stinky socks? Well, she says she was running out of socks, she asked the rink workers, they said OK and so that’s the reason why. It’s still a little crazy if you ask me, but hey…

And about the wedding and the five pages of wedding vows? Well, she says the producers didn’t include the part where she presented Bret Michaels with a $500 gift on behalf of the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation, something Bret knows about since he too is a diabetic. The five pages of vows? Well….

But she says the producers wanted to make her look “villainous,” which would explain why every time you turned around, Brittaney was a total hag! And she says that the girls on the show accused her of bringing drugs on, even though she claims she didn’t. Kind of a he said, she said thing if you ask me…

In the final analysis, Brittaney said she enjoyed being on the show and has no problem watching them at all! Even though she says her character on the show is nothing like her real-life persona, which she says is nice, she is cool with the whole thing.

In real life, she lives in Las Vegas, is a singer-songwriter and is spinning records as a DJ. She says she hasn’t been in porn for five years and calls her time on the show “a half-good, half-horrible experience.” She called the hijinks happening on the show “junior-high drama.”

And you know what? She did not apply to be on the show; it was VH1 who contacted her! Does that mean VH1 contacted everyone for this show? Hmmmm…I’m inclined to believe her. But her performance was good for TV and it’s unfortunate she’s gone.