REALITY TV CIRCUS

Well, after weeks of hearing Jeff Conaway bitch and moan about his aching back (in reality it was only 15 days but felt like a lifetime) and finally, actually rid himself of his crazy assed girlfriend (hopefully), it is time to call a spade a spade.

Celebrity Rehab packs up shop tonight on VH1 and man, has it been a ride! Conaway was up to his usual shenanigans, begging to be released every time he picked up the phone dialing 911. Then Gary Busey was certifiable for the first few episodes, then had a change of heart and actually admitted he was nuts and on drugs.

Then you had Steven Adler, kicked out of Guns N’ Roses (!!!!!!) for drugs and frankly, there is no chance in Hell he’s going to sober living. Even though he looks like a corpse already and should be a PSA billboard for what not to do (uh, drugs) he will continue rockin’ and doing whatever he does. God have mercy.

On the bright side of things, Rod Stewart’s son Sean is also in there but it looks like he may go to sober living. That is good, especially if he’s seen what drugs can do (and he has). Ex-supermodel Amber Smith has a co-dependent mother and both were on drugs before Smith entered the facility. Both look like they will enter sober living. And finally, we have Tawny Kitaen, whose drug use destroyed her family and who has been on more reality TV shows than I have fingers as well as Rodney King, who has been NOTHING compared to his persona.

But that’s beside the point; what is the point is it all reaches a climax this evening. Predictions? I have a few. Not going to sober living are Jeff Conaway (back pills) and Steven Adler (anything, really). Sean Stewart and Amber Smith are 50/50. Peer pressure may make them go. Tawny Kitaen and Gary Busey are 75% sure they’re going; they have supportive families and Seth “Shifty” Binzer (you know, the guy smoking crack rocks on the roof of the rehab center last week) and Rodney King (yes, HIM) are definitely going.

By the way, the people choosing sober living (other castmates will be chosen soon) will be back on the air in February in a new VH1 series called “Sober House.” So set your TiVO’s people; it should be a very interesting evening of reality TV watching. Frankly the whole group needs sober living, but I don’t think we (or their families) will get that lucky. One can only hope.