REALITY TV CIRCUS

What’s more bulbous than a pair of hot air balloons? How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? If you guessed fewer than 19, the total number of contestants for the upcoming Rock Of Love Bus, starring Bret Michaels as the studly suitor, you would be correct!

There will be 19 girls total vying to steal Bret’s heart, starting January 4. Namely Ashley, Beverly, Brittanya, Constandina, Farrah, Gia and we’re just to the letter G! (We have to keep some things under wraps, you know.)

As you already know, this is Michaels’ third shot at finding someone, and now he’s taken to the place he feels most comfortable: his tour bus. Will the third time be his charm?

We can only hope. What’s next? Rock Of Love Boat? Seriously, if Bret can’t find love on this trip he might as well start speed dating. God only knows they’d be lining up by the thousands. Of course that’s hardly enough time to figure out who really wants him…and who really wants him for his fame and money.

I think you’ll see both this time around. As we told you before, the girls will be following Michaels’ bus in two separate buses, one for the blondes; the other for the brunettes. Did they take into account the girls’ genuine hair color?

Because I’d swear some of these girls aren’t really blondes. After you pull out their hair extensions, what you’re left with is a bunch of silicone breasts (not that’s there anything wrong with those) and other fake parts.

But Bret will get to find out if any of the parts, brain and heart included, are genuine in just a few weeks. Stay tuned.