REALITY TV CIRCUS

Whether it was his love for pickle juice that did him in (Eww) or just his bizarre frizzy hairdo, Brian managed to get the boot from The Pick-Up Artist 2, despite being loud, brash and obnoxious to a group of bikini models.

I thought that’s what the mighty powers wanted (you know, that goth aviator Mystery and his cronies) but apparently, you can go too far trying to pick up drunk women in a bar. Perhaps if they weren’t bikini models it would have been different.

It all got to this boiling point when all five remaining “pick-up artists” auctioned themselves off to a pack of rich, hungry cougars at a high-end Phoenix-area spa. Mmm, delicious, right? Uh, not exactly.

Brian got the party started right by making suggestive glances, grinning like a Cheshire cat and thrusting his butt in the direction of the middle-aged mamas. But since Brian went first, they decided to hang on to their precious earnings and bid a measly $575 for his services.

Matt was next and started whining about what cheese goes best with vino (Chianti, in his case) and the ladies bought his story, bidding $850. Rian was the most hilarious of the night, attempting to lure the ladies in with what can only be described as an innocent look one gets at bedtime.

But these ladies were wide awake and didn’t fall for Rian’s bedtime story. The bid? $450, lowest of the night, compared to Simeon‘s acknowledgement that his shit doesn’t stink (Actually, he said he was “a great person.” LOL), garnering $575, same as Brian. Greg discussed his time on a “service mission,” which won the hearts of the ladies but not their paws. His bid: $800. Matt took high honors for the auction and avoided elimination at the hands of Mystery and Co.

It just wasn’t Brian’s day, having completely alienated a group of bikini models before stripping with his clothes on at a society function. Normally that type of behavior would earn him money, but not in a public spa. Maybe in private, but that’s another story for another day. LOL What did you think about Brian going home early?

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