REALITY TV CIRCUS

That douchebag London is back on Daisy Of Love now that Riki convinced Daisy that she really does like him. If Riki told Daisy the world was made of cheese, would she eat it? Probably.

Now there may actually be somebody in the house that Daisy would stay with permanently, although she did not give him a chain, meaning she can kick his Mohawked ass out any time she pleases.

Think the other guys were happy about this latest development? Um, no. Does Daisy care? No. Do I care? No.

In other news, Chi Chi, that little tiny butt-kissing punk who wears tube socks up to his nuts and berries, was eliminated. Only four left, Flex, 12 Pack, London and Sinister. I predict Sinister is going next, making it two dicks in a row.

Real Chance Of Love 2 is about ready to get the party started (in about a month, anyway) and so it’s time to reveal the cast!

As usual, there are some STOOPID names that the boys have picked for these women, like Hot Wings (?), Apple (??), Baker (???) and Riboon (???????????????).

On the other hand, there are names like Spanish Fly, Mamacita and my personal favorite, Blonde Baller. 

Here is the official press release below, so you don’t think I’m making this up. There really is a good reality TV show starting soon (actually two, if you count Megan’s). 

The Stallionaires are back! VH1’s favorite bachelor brothers Real and Chance are back and still eager to find the fillies of their dreams. Amongst last season’s gasp-worthy moments of secrets revealed about the ladies and Real making the moves on one of Chance’s girl, love proved to be elusive for both eligible bachelors. These former I Love New York contestants are single again and ready to restart the dual search for Ms. Right with a new set of challenges that promise to be both outlandish and true tests for these ladies to prove their hearts belong to Real or Chance. Get ready, it’ll be double the trouble and double the fun when Real Chance of Love 2 premieres Monday, August 3 at 9:00 PM ET/PT.

It’s very possible that the Apocalypse is coming soon, especially with the news that Frank The Entertainer is getting his own reality TV show.

It would be better if he did the show in his parents’ basement but I don’t think that they can fit that many skanks into one split-level home.

Regardless, with Real Chance Of Love 2 on the horizon and Megan’s show as well, we are in for some quality TV come fall season.

Until then, though, we have to suffer with crap shows like Daisy Plus 12-Pack Of Love and Charm School with (insert washed-up talk show host here).

There is no doubt, however, that Frank will bring the entertainment, as he always has, to this show. If you think Megan is brutal, you haven’t seen anything yet with this guy.

The only way this show would be an epic fail is if the VH1 producers do something dumb like the MTV execs did when they gave that other Italiano, Dominic from Tila Tequila, his own show and turned the set into one big Italian ristorante. Here’s the details below.

VH1 and the Producers who brought you I LOVE MONEY, I LOVE NEW YORK, REAL CHANCE OF LOVE, FOR THE LOVE OF RAY J and ROCK OF LOVE bring you THE ENTERTAINER OF LOVE.

VH1’s favorite 30-year-old-who-lives-with-his-parents is getting his own show! Frank, better known as THE ENTERTAINER, will live, with, romance and date over 15 girls in his search to find that one true love and all under the watchful eye of his mom and dad!

Hey, you marry the Frank…you marry the family!

Producers are looking for sexy, single women who have a big heart and big personality to live in a house and compete for the love of THE ENTERTAINER.

The fans have spoken and America wants to see more of THE ENTERTAINER!

Please email us your:

• Name
• Age
• City and state where you live
• Phone number
• Email address
• A recent PHOTO
• A brief bio telling us: 1) Who you are AND 2) Why you would be the perfect girl for THE ENTERTAINER.

Send email to TheEntertainer@IconicCasting.com

Auditions will be held in the following locations:

LOS ANGELES, CA
CHICAGO, IL
NEW YORK, NY
JERSEY SHORE, NJ
ATLANTA, GA
PHOENIX, AZ
BOSTON, MA
LAS VEGAS, NV

ALL APPLICANTS MUST BE 21+ by Sept

Supermodel/bitch Janice Dickinson was finally voted out of the jungle last night on I’m A Celebrity…Get Me Out Of Here.

That’s probably better than the other fate she would have received, which is all of her castmates beating her scrawny ass for peeing all over the jungle where they walk in their bare feet. Or spitting wherever she pleased. Or just being Janice.

Whatever the case may be, you know. I’m kinda bummed Holly Montag was booted too, because she had a thing going with our jungle boy Sanjaya, or so we thought. And she was Heidi’s sister, but the word is that Speidi will be back for the finale next week.

Anyway, now it’s getting down to the nitty-gritty. Only one week remaining until the finale.

Left in the jungle to fight it out are six: Sanjaya the jungle boy, Stephen Baldwin the Jesus freak, John Salley, Lou Diamond Phillips, Rod Blagojevich’s wife Patti and Playboy playmate and WWE wrestler Torrie Wilson.

Phillips is the odds-on favorite to win it, with Sanjaya a close second. Wilson is the only hope among the females heading into the last week of the show. Who do you think will win?

Laurie was the odds-on favorite to win the new reality TV show She’s Got The Look on TV Land, but then she went batshit crazy and the rest…well, it’s history.

In fact, I can’t ever recall when somebody stripped down to NOTHING on a reality TV show at an elimination ceremony, but we have definitely broken new ground here.

Whether or not the whole thing was a publicity stunt, it just goes to show that you never really know what people are thinking.

And it’s the reason why I’ll be tuning into this show all season. You’re dealing with women in menopause under pressure. Wow.

Spencer and Heidi Pratt (um, Speidi) have returned from the jungle just in time to stir up controversy.

For example, Heidi will appear in an upcoming issue of Playboy–even though she is now a Christian–and Spencer will run for President in 2015. (???)

Anyway, these two are complete idiots. It’s a shame they weren’t eaten in the jungle.

Spencer and Heidi Pratt, or Speidi, are now gone from the Costa Rican jungle.

 In Heidi’s spot came Holly Montag, Heidi’s sister, who is whip-smart and thus far is the only one one capable of helping the women win a food challenge.

But now comes the news that Sanjaya and Holly may be a couple, making them Sanjolly. LOL We’ll see where this goes, but what do you think of the new jungle power couple? She does seem to like him.

Ah, ha, ha, ha… Janice Dickinson, that crazy hag/supermodel somehow got America to vote for her to stay in the Costa Rican jungle, and she wasn’t happy.

That’s what makes this so hilarious. I’d imagine America will keep voting for her every week so that they can make her life a living nightmare.

You know, the way she’s making everyone’s lives Hell on the show. So for Dickinson, what goes around comes around and so now she will have to deal with the people she’s stolen from.

And she’ll have to sleep on the ground she’s pissed on. Hopefully a giant rat crawls from beneath her cot and attacks her, leaving her a crumpled mess of silicone and fake skin.

Other than her irritating everyone, Daniel Baldwin was doing a good job of being a jerk, too, making idle threats to his competitors.

That worked out well for him; now he’s on his way back to the states after making himself look like an ass on national TV in the one week he stayed there.

Another week, another lame-ass elimination ceremony on Daisy Of Love. At least this week the producers had the decency to actually put in a challenge that somebody cares about, and that’s beating the crap out of each other in a cage.

It should have been a steel cage death match, but that’s beside the point. The point is, this show is the WORST reality dating show on TV, period. Even The Cougar was more entertaining.

Frankly, I’m amazed it’s still on the air! And at least Daisy didn’t leave the elimination ceremony in tears this time, like she has for just about every other elim.

Oh, yeah, some guy named 6 Gauge who talks about his pecker all the time, the oldest trick in the VH1 reality dating show book, was booted.

That leaves six more contestants, um, idiots, um, potential lovemakers for Daisy. I still think it’s 12 Pack’s show to win, but Flex is coming on strong. A dark horse pick would be Chi Chi, even though he is a brown-noser punk.

When is Megan’s show coming on? That’s what I wanna know!

Now that casting has started on the show For The Love Of Ray-J 2, it’s time for Cocktail, the winner of the first season, to announce she and Ray-J are over. Because that’s what winners of fake reality dating shows do!

Well, she did announce they were through, on her MySpace today:

“So most of you have seen photos floating around with me and a guy who is obviously not Ray. Some of you have been asking questions about who I am dating, is it Ray? or this person or that person and I want to clear some things up.

When I was on the show, I truly fell for Ray. I invested my time, effort, and emotions into him and wanted things to work. But the reality of reality television is that it doesn’t always work. Ray and I are no longer together. We have not been together for awhile now but we have remained friends and when we hang out we have a great time. I miss him very much and respect what decisions he has made. He is a really cool person and someone I feel connected with for sure but aside from that, I can’t say.

As for the tour we just did and ‘acting’ like we were together, it comes with the show. What people saw of us on tour was real. When we are together we have a cool chemistry. We have fun and enjoy each others company. But at the end of the day I wasn’t the right person for Ray and although it hurt me at least he was honest about the situation before it went any further.

I do want to end this on a positive note, I am happy. I am having fun, living life and doing me. I have a lot of projects coming up and you will see a lot more of me for sure.”

If by projects Cocktail means another reality show in addition to the Bad Girls Club and Ray-J, then I’m not interested.

But I actually think she’d kick ass on I Love Money 3, because she’s a conniving bitch who will do anything to get her way. Just so you know…